The Unforgiving Hydrangea
I used to love being in the garden in the summertime, but skin cancer and MS now give me pause when I’m ready to head outside: did I use sunscreen? Do I have my cooling vest or scarf? Where’s my sun hat?
Some days – like all this week – it’s just too hot to go outside at all. Once I’m overheated my legs stop working and I can’t walk. So I stay in the house, crank up the AC, and Daisy and I look out the windows at the birds and bees and plants waiting to be watered.
But this week, as temps hover in the 100’s in So Cal, some plants can’t wait very long for their life-sustaining water! They begin to droop…and then wilt…and then begin to fry under the hot sun.
Our newest hydrangeas are a perfect example – why we planted them in a drought is beyond me. A plant with a name that practically screams “hydrate” needs water and is not very forgiving when that need is neglected. It does not perk up quickly when my “apology” of water is poured near its roots. It seems to cross its arms, stomp its feet and throw some attitude at me, as if trying to teach me a lesson or two about wanting to be taken better care of! I do love hydrangeas but they’re adding more drama than I need in my life right now.
Other plants are more forgiving when I’m not Johnny (or Debra) on the spot with my hose or watering can. Salvias, sages, even roses are more easy-going than fussy hydrangeas. A little neglect, do them wrong and they stand perky and strong for quite some time. When they do begin to droop, give them a quick drink of water from the hose and they seem to say, “Oh thank you! I knew you wouldn’t neglect me long. All is forgiven – good as new!”
I much prefer easy-going & quickly forgiving over unforgiving pouting.
I think most of us have that same preference in people when it comes to forgiveness. I’ve learned – okay, I’m continuing to learn – that when I forgive quickly it’s better for me. I don’t mean cheap forgiveness, without counting the cost of letting it go. I mean really forgiving – consciously giving grace rather than getting even. Since I’ll live with what’s been done to me whether I forgive or not, I choose to live in the freedom that forgiveness brings rather than as a hostage to hostility and resentment, which easily leads to bitterness. You may have heard the saying that holding a grudge and not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Whether you agree with that or not, I do believe that being unforgiving chokes the joy of life out of us.
Colossians 3:13 is my go-to verse on this topic: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” How has the Lord forgiven me? Before I ever asked for it, while I was still dead in my sin. He actually died in my place and paid the penalty I deserved! With that example, how can I not forgive someone else?
When Jesus taught us how to pray, He told us why we forgive: Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” That’s reason enough for me!
There are times, however, when wounds are very deep; trust has been violated beyond repair and for our safety we can no longer be close to the one that wounded us. Even in such a situation we can still forgive, placing the offender in God’s hands, entrusting them to the only One who judges justly.
I don’t want to be an unforgiving hydrangea but rather a quick-to-forgive salvia…sage…rose. Yes, I want to be a rose.
What about you?
Lord, sometimes forgiveness is really hard. Help me, in those situations, to at least be willing to forgive and trust you to bring me into the freedom full forgiveness offers. What better way to look more like You?