DebraJ
The Unforgiving Hydrangea
I used to love being in the garden in the summertime, but skin cancer and MS now give me pause when I’m ready to head outside: did I use sunscreen? Do I have my cooling vest or scarf? Where’s my sun hat?
Some days – like all this week – it’s just too hot to go outside at all. Once I’m overheated my legs stop working and I can’t walk. So I stay in the house, crank up the AC, and Daisy and I look out the windows at the birds and bees and plants waiting to be watered.
But this week, as temps hover in the 100’s in So Cal, some plants can’t wait very long for their life-sustaining water! They begin to droop…and then wilt…and then begin to fry under the hot sun.
Our newest hydrangeas are a perfect example – why we planted them in a drought is beyond me. A plant with a name that practically screams “hydrate” needs water and is not very forgiving when that need is neglected. It does not perk up quickly when my “apology” of water is poured near its roots. It seems to cross its arms, stomp its feet and throw some attitude at me, as if trying to teach me a lesson or two about wanting to be taken better care of! I do love hydrangeas but they’re adding more drama than I need in my life right now.
Other plants are more forgiving when I’m not Johnny (or Debra) on the spot with my hose or watering can. Salvias, sages, even roses are more easy-going than fussy hydrangeas. A little neglect, do them wrong and they stand perky and strong for quite some time. When they do begin to droop, give them a quick drink of water from the hose and they seem to say, “Oh thank you! I knew you wouldn’t neglect me long. All is forgiven – good as new!”
I much prefer easy-going & quickly forgiving over unforgiving pouting.
I think most of us have that same preference in people when it comes to forgiveness. I’ve learned – okay, I’m continuing to learn – that when I forgive quickly it’s better for me. I don’t mean cheap forgiveness, without counting the cost of letting it go. I mean really forgiving – consciously giving grace rather than getting even. Since I’ll live with what’s been done to me whether I forgive or not, I choose to live in the freedom that forgiveness brings rather than as a hostage to hostility and resentment, which easily leads to bitterness. You may have heard the saying that holding a grudge and not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Whether you agree with that or not, I do believe that being unforgiving chokes the joy of life out of us.
Colossians 3:13 is my go-to verse on this topic: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” How has the Lord forgiven me? Before I ever asked for it, while I was still dead in my sin. He actually died in my place and paid the penalty I deserved! With that example, how can I not forgive someone else?
When Jesus taught us how to pray, He told us why we forgive: Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” That’s reason enough for me!
There are times, however, when wounds are very deep; trust has been violated beyond repair and for our safety we can no longer be close to the one that wounded us. Even in such a situation we can still forgive, placing the offender in God’s hands, entrusting them to the only One who judges justly.
I don’t want to be an unforgiving hydrangea but rather a quick-to-forgive salvia…sage…rose. Yes, I want to be a rose.
What about you?
Lord, sometimes forgiveness is really hard. Help me, in those situations, to at least be willing to forgive and trust you to bring me into the freedom full forgiveness offers. What better way to look more like You?
FIGEATER BEETLES
Figeater beetles eating figs
Big green beetles are eating my figs! An army of them has descended on our fig tree, devouring the ripest fruit like an ungodly horde! A dozen per fig of these normally noisy iridescent green beetles are eating so quietly, one would never know they were there – unless one seeks out the ripest figs to pick and enjoy for oneself!
Usually these big bugs fly through the air blindly bumping into anything and everything – their wings sounding like playing cards on the spokes of a bicycle. Many people I know are afraid of them – or are just afraid they’ll fly into their hair and get stuck. We were at a dinner recently, when one of these shiny green behemoths flew through our outdoor dining area, sending one poor woman running from the table, flailing her arms and screaming. I usually don’t mind them at all and just duck out of their way when I hear them coming.
But how have we ended up with dozens of them eating our figs?!!
I’d always been told these were “Japanese beetles” but actually they aren’t. In fact, they are bigger and greener than their eastern cousin and their real name is “Figeater Beetle” (Cotinus mutabilis). I think I know how they got their name. I read that adults emerge from pupation from July to September, which explains why we’re seeing so many of them…and will continue to see them for quite a while.
As more beetles show up each day, it reminds me of the seemingly endless challenges our family has been encountering recently. Their number also seems to grow each day. I’m not one to wallow in self-pity or recount each and every issue that we’ve needed to address, but I can’t help but think of each one as another beetle joining into the “problem party”, eating away at the ripe fruit of our lives!
Here’s a small sample of issues we’re dealing with: a couple of people in leadership at church stepped away from their positions and we’ve had to fill in until their replacements are found; major distractions from an unexpected source surrounded our son as he studied and took the California Bar exam; three expensive car repairs on three separate occasions; two of our parents being diagnosed with life-altering health issues; one of our siblings is preparing for a kidney transplant, her kidneys having been destroyed by an autoimmune disease; another of our siblings was given custody of her great-grandchild, due to the neglect of it’s parents; caring for a very sick Daisy-kitty that had to be treated at the emergency vet, followed by two more weeks worth of tests and vet visits; (not to mention everyday responsibilities and life with Multiple Sclerosis).
Beetle after beetle after beetle…wearing down my energy and resolve to stand firm in the Lord. Beetle after beetle…sneaking bites away from time usually spent in prayer to our sovereign, all-powerful Lord. Beetle after beetle…wrestling their way into once restful sleep…sapping peace, trust and thankfulness, replacing it with “what next, Lord?” Beetle after beetle after beetle…
Each day I would pray to the Lord, mourning and anguishing over these things transpiring around us, waiting for him to intervene…but he delayed…beetle after beetle…
I remember another time God delayed in providing help. In Daniel 10: 1 – 14 we’re told Daniel (who survived the lion’s den) mourned for three weeks over a disturbing revelation he’d been given, fasting and praying as he waited on God for an explanation. When help finally came, he was told it had been delayed because a fierce battle was being waged in the spiritual world around him…for him.
So the prayer continues more earnestly…beetle after beetle…
Finally, yesterday I felt led to send an email asking a couple of people to pray about stepping into those leadership roles at church, expecting to wait a long time for their responses. So I went out to prune some roses in the front garden, far away from the fig tree, for a bit of therapy and some time with the Lord.
Large green spider captures figeater beetle
After working for a while I saw a white iceberg rose bush that needed deadheading. As I reached down to prune away some spent blooms I nearly grabbed a big green spider that had captured an equally big green figeater beetle! What a grotesquely lovely spectacle!!! I have to admit that knowing there was one less figeater in our garden brought joy to my heart.
But as I pondered this odd sight, I wondered what it might mean. Could it be that the battle being fought on our behalf in the spiritual world is nearly over and help is on its way?
The answer to my musings was quick in coming. As I stated, I expected a long wait for those email responses, but God had been at work in these two people…putting things in place…removing other things…preparing them both for these very responsibilities. Right away they shared how the Lord had been working in them. And, amazingly, at the same time I’d sent that email they had already been talking with each other about offering themselves to help fill this need! Two beetles gone!!
Now we hear that a kidney donor match has been found for our sibling – in her own daughter! Although more testing must be done, help is on the way! Another beetle gone!!
I’m convinced there is so much happening in the spiritual world that directly affects our lives, that if we could see it with our eyes we would be awestruck! Read Daniel 10 to see what I mean! As for me, I’m going to check out our fig tree. I have a feeling it’s going to be figeater beetle free!
God, I know you are working and growing my faith in all of these challenges you allow. Please, bind the enemy of our souls like the spider bound that beetle! Make him powerless and remove every bit of his influence from our lives! And please, fill all the places he has vacated with your power – the very power that raised your Son, Jesus from the dead – so we can stand firm until the “problem party” is over!
A Caterpillar’s Life
We’ve had several monarch caterpillars in our garden this spring and summer, although quite a few less than previous years. Our friend Colleen has found such joy as she’s watched them eat their way from tiny little guys to chubby adults, ready to embark on their journey to find the perfect chrysalis-making spot. But she’s never been blessed to see one successfully metamorphose into a beautiful orange and black monarch butterfly, so aptly named as king of these winged insects.
Until yesterday.
Colleen had named a certain caterpillar (along with a few others), Dave. Dave had been rescued from a dangerous area near our cars and was transferred to a potted milkweed plant on our back deck. (You may recall that milkweed is the host plant for monarchs.) Soon after the rescue Colleen lost sight of Dave and feared he’d been plucked off the plant. That is, until Dave, the lost caterpillar was found on a completely different plant on our upper deck, all stretched out and ready to attach himself and spin his cocoon! When I went to point out to Colleen the place he’d chosen, Dave had already gone through the process of transforming his chubby caterpillar body into a lime green chrysalis! We were both pretty amazed.
Each day Colleen and I watched Dave’s chrysalis, carefully checking to be sure he was okay. You see, we’ve seen other chrysalises attacked by spiders, causing them to die before they’ve finished their transformation. But Dave was looking good! For two weeks we kept vigil, waiting to see the first signs that his metamorphous was nearly complete. Then on Tuesday of this week the coloring of the chrysalis began to change and we knew Dave-the-butterfly would emerge within a few days.
Wednesday we forgot to check on Dave. Then yesterday, Thursday, when I saw two monarchs flitting, dancing and laying eggs in the front garden, I was reminded that I should see what he was up to…
And there he was – his metamorphous complete! All evidence of his former life was gone, save the empty shell of a translucent chrysalis. Dave had been transformed into a beautiful monarch butterfly.
I quickly snapped a picture and sent it off to Colleen so she could see Dave-the-butterfly for herself. Amazingly, as soon as I’d sent it to her, Dave flew away! He was off to new adventures, new heights, in the new life he was meant to live! And God had blessed Colleen with the gift of seeing him before he was gone. Such a sweet gift.
I’ve been granted a sweet gift also: seeing the change in this dear friend since she accepted Jesus into her life. I’m witnessing a true metamorphous, as His life in her provides strength for the journey she is on. I check in on her each day and am so blessed to hear He is giving her one small victory after another. She may not always see change, thinking she’s just hanging on so she can get through the day. But deep inside her, our Lord is working in ways we can’t always see. And He will continue to work to bring about His desired change in her, in me – in all of us – until the transformation is complete!
Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Lord, thank you for this new and transformed life you have given us, so similar to that of a caterpillar-turned-butterfly. Thank you for continuing to work in us until the transformation is complete!
A monarch butterfly soon after emerging from it's chrysalis